Home Anonymous How does it feel to be a rape victim? A story of pain and resurrection

How does it feel to be a rape victim? A story of pain and resurrection

by Anonymous
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rape victim

I am an independent girl who grew up in the midst of a wonderful, affectionate family.

I had always been an ambitious and hardworking girl who drastically altered into a person who lost her identity. This life is directly proportionate to time {LIFE  TIME}. As time flows, happiness and cheerfulness get replaced with tensions and regrets.My story is similar to other rape stories.

 There are thousands of freaking secrets, which we are afraid to share with anyone. We all conceal these secrets deep in the interior of our hearts, and somehow we have appropriately interpreted that we exist in a society where everyone judges our choices and standards. I still remember how my neighbours used to throw remarks on my dressing style. My short dress never covered my legs, but it perfectly uncovered the shitty mentality of others. It not only reveals their ideology to restrain girls but also their motive to seize their lives. I was the most rebellious child who never obeyed and never did what anyone asked me to do. My story is similar to other rape stories; nothing is interesting in that. Today this seems so easy to say, but it was not accessible before. However, by some means, the time that destroyed everything, healed the times of yore, some bitter pieces of memories are constant in our hearts like acne during the teenage

My story begins, when I was in my intermediate year (class-12th) and was about to start my career; I was always bright in academics and in addition to that, used to excel in other extracurricular activities. I loved to read, paint, to party, and to socialize with my friends. You cannot imagine the bossy-sassy and brave me. I miss old me!

As the exams were approaching, I was focusing on my studies; I wanted the best college in the country. Nevertheless, the focused phase remained until I saw him. (Unfortunately, I cannot disclose the name of the person,who raped me and played with my private parts like a toy). 

I fell in love with that stupid person in my first meeting, I loved everything about him, right from his lame jokes to his flirty jokes, and nothing could make me hate him.

The point to note here is I truly loved him with all my heart and wits. Its seems ridiculous to me today that I wasted my crucial year on long phone calls and bunking sessions making memories with my boyfriend who was not loyal at all. I curse my friends who used to call me beauty with brains. I wonder where my mind was, during that prolonged phase. Those days I completely ignored everyone, to have the slightest glimpse of my boyfriend; my parents, well-wishers and my best friend too. My best friend warned me to stay away from that person, but the fact is I was in love. In the board examination; I scored near to the ground and blemished everyones expectation, it was just 79% and somewhere I knew that I spoiled my dreams. 

However, the fact to notice here is that my boy kept his hand on my shoulder and kissed me to show his fake care and said, no matter what, you will be mine, and I am proud of you”. 

These cute words made my day. I was happy, jumping and forgot all stress regarding life. 

Then suddenly one day we were chilling out with our friends, he asked my hand most romantically and took me in the corner, he pushed me on the sidewall and in that moment; I observed his wicked deeds, I told him clearly “ I am uncomfortable!!” and left that place. 

The next day he invited me to his place. I found myself alone there, along with four more male friends. Those five devils showed their real standard by brutally raping me and injuring my body.

 The scars they gave me shattered me altogether, and the society blamed me! Called me by abusive words, I ask you; was being raped, my fault?
Cheery mornings are no longer merrier,
Little things that I enjoyed;
Are no longer happier
Am I the darkest spot?
Or is it all my fault, I want to live once,
Without those torturing memories,
Which are inevitably foul…”

 

Resurrection

I was rebellious; I kicked this iniquitous society and stood for myself. The same moment taught me those who loved me were standing by my side. I overlooked my well-wishers for an unknown person. I will end this story by quoting what my father told me in the police station- 

Loving someone is not the fault, loving someone blindly is wrong. By taking your stand, you will eventually win, even though this society blames you, watch closely, who stands behind you when you fall?”

 Those words gave me hope and courage to take my stand! 

Today I am happy 🙂 and living a good life

 

if you ever need help do not  hesitate.

here is the link “Organizations in India that Help in Cases of Molestation, Sexual Abuse & Violence”

read more about depression click here

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