Sattvik yelled into Smita’s ears some ten times ‘you fucking bitch, you fucking idiot’ before she could take it anymore and disconnected the call. As expected he called, again and again, to repeat what he had just said. She knew what he has said was under the influence of alcohol, but it was no reason to forgive him this side for what he said. She had been ignoring his behavior for seven months now and this was the final thread. Whatever feelings, attachment, and love she had for him, vanished in that single moment.
She had read about how girls fall prey to toxic men, but she had never imagined her to be one. She was a headstrong, powerful woman and how can she fall into some harassing relationship was beyond her scope of thinking. When they had met for the first time he had been all loving, caring, sweet, and then he had gotten drunk for the first time after they met. She still remembered how he had abused her when her servant had just come to give her milk. They hadn’t talked for the next two days and Smita hadn’t known what went wrong? Before her servant had come they were having a very intense conversation about what kind of developments are taking place in quantum physics when suddenly she was blocked after the knock on her door.
She couldn’t scold her servant, what was his mistake anyways? But after he called back two days later, he apologized and acted as if everything was normal. Smita also let it go but told her servant not to knock and come next time rather just come quietly, keep the glass and go. This is what she could do. But that episode was just the beginning and things spiraled so much that it came to the shouting of you fucking bitch. The pitch of the voice, the anger in them was something that she will now be never able to forget. And not to forget his warning of how he will throw her from the car at the speed of 120 on a highway once if they get married. She was more worried about hearing this rather than being angry and annoying.
After a while when she cooled down she was happy, relax, and at peace. She was glad that this was over. She couldn’t take it anymore. It’s not like that her family members were forcing her, rather it was the opposite, they had been warning her against him. But she was so blindly in love with him, that she had fought with all of them. She had thought that this was her chance of love and they wanted to take it away from her, not realizing that they had seen the signs of abuse before she understood. Her mother had given up on her and had stopped talking to her because of this.
How can she tell them how right they had been. She had been married before and had gone through an ugly divorce and now at the age of 40, she had thought that this was that love in her life that she had been waiting for! But if this was that love and concern, then hadn’t she been happier before she had met him?
And that is when she wondered what bad karmas had she done to deserve this? What was in her destiny, why were gods so angry with her that they don’t want to see her happy? All these questions arose in her mind and she had an answer to none…
She thought how we as a human have a habit of putting everything bad that’s been happening in her life in the bag of karma and destiny? What are they? Her ex-mother in law used to say that whatever good or bad that happens in our life it is because of our prarabdh. That time she used to wonder what exactly prarabdh is? Samskaar, prarabdh, karma, all these words felt like coming out of ekta kapoor’s serials that her mother used to watch.
Was her prarabdh was to stay alone? What bad karmas had she done in past life because in this birth according to her she had been all good, religious, volunteered in her free time, kept fasts, prayed every day, ensured that nobody get hurt because of her. And how does she explain the meaning of such heavy dose words to herself and distinguish between them?
Then she saw chocolate in front of her because when you are overwhelmed craving for chocolate is but natural. Ain’t it?
So knowing that chocolate is either good or bad for us, is our SAMSKAAR. Eating two pieces of chocolate in a nice slow manner, savouring every flavor is our PRARABDH, but eating two more pieces of it because we liked it so much is our KARMA and finally gaining weight is our DESTINY. So each of these things will happen in our life as per the plot of god, but where do we have to put a stop is in our hands and he is guiding us throughout.
So pros and cons or dos and donts or expectation of getting married or being in a relationship is our SAMSKAAR. This we have learned from our parents and other such reliable sources. How will we act in them is our PRARABDH. Like in my current relationship how I was stuck in that cycle of being abused and feeling guilty about it was my PRARABDH. I should had gotten out of it the first time he blocked me, but I didn’t is my KARMA and finally listening to this language and leaving him still at the right time, I know it’s pretty late but at least I didn’t get married to him and was saved from this relationship is my DESTINY. So at this point, I should be grateful to God and believe that I must have done some good karmas also in my past birth for he intervened and stopped me from committing another mistake in my life.