Raghav read Snigdha’s text twice before replying to her. It read, ‘Raghav I loved you more than I love Amit, then why was it easier for me to leave you and not him?’ He was taken aback for a while that can she be so blunt, but Snigdha was nothing if not blunt and straightforward. He sighed and then after a moment replied just this, ‘he gave you hope which I never did’.
Snigdha read his message again and again and cried. Not because Raghav had told her was not right, not because she was about to leave Amit, but because this simple four-letter word had changed her life and her..
How had she become so gullible when it came to Amit? What exact hopes had he given her? What promises had he fulfilled? Their relationship was based on complete lies and dishonesty and she was aware. Tears dropped down her eyes, not sure whom she was crying more for? Herself or Amit?
Snigdha until six months back had been an epitome of confidence. Since her divorce ten years back she was sure that she would not get involved with any guys and had said no to marriage. She had taken away that part of the book from her life. And then Amit had walked into her life as coolly and calmly as he was. He had first seen her at a party which she had attended with her parents. It was apparent from her behavior that she was here forcefully.
Snigdha had come to know about this later from Amit. He was smart enough not to approach her during the party but had tried to make acquaintance with her later through the help of some mutual friends. Apparently, none of the tactics worked on her. He made an attempt to talk to her by meeting her father, but unfortunately, that was also to no avail. He was about to give up on her when sense made him approach her directly.
He had her number, so he just texted her, ‘hi Snigdha, how are you? Amit this side, I got your number from your father, and before you delete this text and along with it my number, at least give me a chance? Just one decent conversation? Let me know when you are free? Regards.’
As he had predicted Snigdha was about to delete his message when common sense told her to at least talk to him once. She was aware of all his attempts to talk to her, he at least deserved this. So she gave him a call. That call when it turned into the four-hour conversation was beyond both of them. They had nothing in common, no similarity with regard to taste in food, clothes, travel, books, television but one thing they did agree on was that both of them wanted a quiet, peaceful life. And that was sufficient.
They talked throughout the week and over the weekend about nothing and everything in particular. Snigdha enjoyed talking to him, she was impressed by his vast knowledge. They met for coffee and then cupid hit them both with his arrow. Snigdha had let her guards down, she became attached and emotionally involved..
But lies have an expiry period. In one of her such conversation, she realized that Amit’s knowledge was basically the open page of google in front of him. He dreamt, but then did nothing to realize those dreams. She was confused now and he had answers for all her doubts. He would calmly say, ‘Snigdha when time is right, everything will fall in place.’ But he did nothing to make it fall in place. She was disheartened. She wanted to leave him before it turned serious. But he with his cool, loving words and how he is all alone without her would make her come back to him out of guilt.
Her life had become havoc and one day out of this guilt, confusion, frustration, she had messaged her ex-boy friend Raghav whom she had gone around briefly some four years back. She felt guilty after sending that text and wasn’t sure whether he would recognize and reply to her. But he did and what he did completely made sense.
Hope a small word, but has the power to easily shatter any dreams. How many times do we hope for things to happen and when then they don’t we get broken. Half of the time we term it as expectations, which in reality had been hoping. Like Amit had given her hope of future full peace and calm with everything that she wants in it. He had told her that he would fulfill all her desires and all she need to do was to trust him for it. She had daily hoped that what Raghav said would become a reality. She had hoped that the dreams they had sewed together would become a reality. And because now she suddenly realized that her hope will never get fulfilled she was disturbed and again crying, which she had hoped would never do for any other guy after her husband.
So there she sat on her bed hoping again that things would become normal soon in her life and with this hope, she packed all the gifts that Smit had given to her and sent them back to him.